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yay rain, rain when sad is always nice 4 me

yes? right?
mm maybe
also fuck me fuck it I’m feeling..
not good. that’s all, I’m so greedy to feel great all the time
what is next? I have no idea.
and that is the worst awful part,
not knowing and then also not believing in yourself!!!!!!
yo who the hell made me this way? no not you? I know

I know

I know I’m a good person because I have friends that I love and who love me too.. and I make people laugh not even with jokes just I know I could get a out of you. I may think you’re a certain way before I hear you speak or at the first sound of your voice or from what you’ve chosen to say but I know I am a good person because I suppose naturally I give everyone a chance and also on the other side of that there’s the benefit of the doubt, I’m always hoping and looking for redeeming qualities in you all. and just, on the inside, simply, I’m really just exactly like you, all of you, we kind of are all mostly the same. I don’t want to be hurt! I also want to feel love. I get lazy, but also very creative. I most definitely make mistakes, I most definitely have faults, some I consider some I ignore, but I know I’m a good person because I was raised so, and I love my mother and father and that is all.


Bored will make you go crazy, bored will make you do things that aren’t you, bored will make u think you need love or drugs or money or fun. Being bored is the worst, being bored is the worst… I’m telling you… Life isn’t boring, anything anything at all isn’t boring it’s just a switch in your head and it’s controllable
I just need to learn


a cup of coffee staggered through out the week, a place to be and things to look forward to.
I love deeply, you don’t have to love selfishly. Be smart about your love, and know it’s boundaries. Love is patient, love is distant, love is happy and warm.
I am watching ants move a pile of larva out of a puddle.
I do love my ants

time duh

zen but itching can that even be,
time will always move,
so I’ll never feel free,
tired yet sleeping doesn’t seem right,
It’s just another waste of time’s valuable night,
I’ve been up for days no longer sure of any minuet,
trying to save the time has left me in debt,
never ending cycle like the hands on a clock’s face,
not worth fighting it’s and un-win-able race,
so just let moments pass and feel time’s looming embrace.


big empty house filled with sad puppy souls, tears in my eyes, loosing all control, blurry vision, warm sadness touches skin, each drop of salt water has an even bigger twin, short hollow breaths stuffing emotion deep within, no chance of any smile laugh or grin.

you kind of always see dead dear on the side of roads, and idk about u but I just always think first how alive it was and how awfully dead it now looks and is but I never even think about the person who hit the deer, like in just the fact of the event of killing a huge deer with ur car and seeing it die and having ur car all wrecked and the shock and sudden like craziness and horror of that happening to someone! It’s never been me, it’s never been anyone I know if I think about it, but it’s someone, a handful of someones every night and every day, just so weird to me, it happens and I always see the deer’s side of the story, dead and mangled, but like the human’s part in that I never even thought about.
It’s like are they getting hit by cars? Or are they just getting dropped back onto earths highways by the aliens that abducted them..? do u understand my brain?