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sublime

I wanted to talk about Sublime too. I only started to really listen to them in high school. My connection to sublimes music is just that I NEVER belonged to a group of girl friends, like a clique, you know? the good kind. and I finally found my girls in 11th grade, it was a weird gumbo of girls lol, idk a pot headed gymnast, a farmer theater chick, a crazy boy crazy girl putting it nicely, a drug addict or two, and a hipster. For no reason we all just came together and started smokin weed all the time as a gang. it got bad for me, kind of out of control, but in the beginning, it was just long car rides from park to park warm breezes lightly stoned loving our new family!!!! I could cry, and we were all so different but we could agree on Sublime. It was the let’s all sing along really poorly music. I have a hard time singing along to Boss D.J. or KRS-One with out getting teary when I am missing one of those girls, or at least when I am regretting letting drugs get the best of me. 

there’s a steel train coming through, I would take it if I could, and I would not lie to you.. 

I don’t want to listen to new music, I like my past, feeling sad and missing it feels good sometimes you know, it means I was happy, it means I had love in my heart. 

I am just recently discovering this whole palate of emotions, and I am enjoying it. it feels okay to feel. 

tunes

My friends all of them it seems, in fact everyone I’ve ever even met seems like a music genius! Always updated and somehow completely educated on everything they ever seem to play, go see, and listen to. I have never been like that. I like Kanye West and Sublime. My main two, I listen to other music but more like just a few songs here and there, Kanye and Sublime are for the most part the only artists I own every complete album of.. you know that kind of way.

So I was just putting music on my phone finally, and thinking about it and you know I guess I’m not a music genius, but music to me is very sentimental. I don’t like to stray from my sounds that have always comforted me through my miserable teenage years. 

My dad gave me a green iPod in the 4th grade because I had a long bus ride to school and he’s an awesome parent, but he only put two songs on it.. Touch The Sky by Kanye West and We Don’t Care by Kanye West. I would listen to them over and over again until I got to school everyday probably all year. I remember that so well, and it even lines up, those two songs were on his album college drop out and that came out in 2004 when I was in the 4th grade. Wow I love when memories r validated like that. 

Any way Kanye was given to me by my dad. It was the only music I knew to help me through the awkward pain of growing up. I learned more of his music and learned to relate with him. He [kanye] didn’t fit in in school I didn’t fit in in school, we both grew up in the suburbs, strong but very, very sad mothers. I adopted Kanye’s “dreamer” attitude, that life is so beautiful you just have to go out and get it, and I got mad like him when life was being too real to handle. Honestly you have to know his early albums to understand the Kanye I know. Every line of every song hits me differently and specially for me, and even though he may be making a comment on his own life, every time I hear anything of his it brings me back to a way I used to feel. And you know what I’m still not done listening to his work. Just this week I decided Late Registration was how I feel lately and like about a year ago that was probably my least favorite album.

So yeah I don’t know the exact date Kanye West was born, or even how old exactly he is, or who produced the violins for track 7 on the cut unreleased album lol idk but I do have a my own special connection with the music I listen to and it’s mine and I accept me.  

:)

Psithurism:

(Source: xdajoker, via xdajoker)

(Source: mamotte, via hanae-ichihara)

maybe I meant nothing to you

BUT our lips touched, even pressed against one another’s, I cupped your ears in the palms of my hands.. and wrapped my fingers around the backs of them.. my small hands, your big ears, how we met.. Romeo and Juliet..

My eyes feel like their about to flood, I am not dumb, remembering you is bittersweet, I am desperately afraid, that as we move on the memories will fade, I am so sick of being afraid!!!

thank you 

I never knew emotions could hurt, grateful though. 

it wouldn’t be so painful, if I didn’t once feel so young and unbelievably in love. u were me and I was u. a desperate poetic addicted romantic. 

gonna go move on, as reluctant as I am, I’ll do it for you, dragging my feet. hope the world treats you right, I am disappointed our lives didn’t stay synced, but I am forever grateful they crossed paths.